All In Charge

Although I had considered it, I thought it unwise to involve others in my idea of committing the crime. The ‘mission’ I had chosen to accept (okay, it was all my idea, so there was no ‘offer’ of any mission to accept, but…), it was just me, there were no other members of the team who could be dis-avowed if caught. I was alone in my actions. Literally. In fact even today, if I do something (for good, nowadays, not for bad) it’s usually just me doing it, alone.

I’m still not really a ‘team’ player. Even with the army training I took part in when older, I was not the standard ‘grunt’, who could just accept a ridiculous direction or command (They weren’t all ridiculous, but there were enough ridiculous instructions, often enough, in the reserves with whom I trained). I usually tended to see a better way of doing the directed exercise, and a way that would keep everyone safe, keep up the necessary energy of those involved and, be more positive about what they were doing. I was regularly pulled aside on more than one occasion and told in no uncertain terms by more senior corporals and sergeants, to stop questioning the actions, and the directions (even if ‘I’ thought they were ridiculous) of those in charge above me. That was part of the training (Apparently). Think about it. They didn’t want soldiers on the ground to ask questions before doing what they were asked. I told them I didn’t have a problem with not questioning a ‘sensible’ command (Not the way to win the support of senior officers). Perhaps I should have put myself through the process of becoming an officer instead of trying to be ‘one of the team’ (which I really knew I wasn’t). Then I could have led by example. A good example. I didn’t however. Needless to say, my interest in the reserves fell away when I was not able to get into the area I wanted and I engaged more in my full time work. I was not cut out as a pure infantryman, despite my ability to apply myself mentally, physically and to understand the need for clear and precise instruction. I had often imagined if war occurred and I had to fight, I would end up in intelligence as a spy or such, or as a sniper… with a camera. Something I could do alone. As I said, not really a ‘team’ player. But very reliable.

Then however, I was not reliable. I was a thief, and had been caught. I was sitting in front of a very disappointed Mr Walsh. A teacher, whom I had recently impressed and gained some kudos with. But, whom now, looked at sadly. “You understand that what you did was wrong, don’t you Mr Dwyer?” He asked kindly. I nodded. “Yes, sir.” I spoke. “It was meant to be like Robin Hood.” I mumbled discouragingly. “Yes.” Mr Walsh said. He understood. “But despite the generosity of sharing the money you stole, there is nothing worse than being identified as a thief.” In the back of my mind I also doubted there would be stories about me in the years to come.

(Continued tomorrow)