Accidents will happen (Elvis Costello?)

Accidents occur regularly and it’s not just based on the number of people. While today much is made of statistics by the powers that govern, it appears merely as a way to make broad decisions rather than actually find out what the individual may want or need. As a child I discovered my parents tended to make many decisions based on what was an arbitrary non decision making democratic system. In that it didn’t really give us a choice or option, but directed us to think, react or behave in a way that suited their decision. Think about it.

Do you ever recall your parents asking, “Do you want a smack?” Modern parents may not understand the question, as they are not allowed to smack at all, or so many think. This was long ago when ‘parents’, without government intervention, were actually responsible for deciding the appropriate behaviour of their children and if required a smack may have been given as punishment, instantly handed out as a reasonable form of behavioural correction.

The often-uttered phrase by my mother, “Do you want a smack?” was not generally presented with any other option. It was never “Do you want a smack or an ice-cream?” (In fact the reason you may have been given the ultimatum was because you were performing inappropriately, because you actually wanted an ice-cream). So there was generally one alternative. Stop whatever you were doing that made your mother ask the question, or receive the smack. This would teach you a basic form of decision making without necessarily improving your decision-making skills. A choice would develop your decision-making skills. “Do you want a smack, or to go and stand in the corner with your hands on your head for a time?”  Then you would have to decide. Which had the greater pain? Which would inconvenience you most? Which could you tolerate? Regardless, you would still have to stop what you were doing, but you felt more empowered as you had a choice. It would be your decision. You would decide. Your parent would get the benefit of the change in behaviour and you the benefit of making a considered decision.

However, as I waited for the arrival in my room of my father (I was still sitting there, still expecting some form of retribution for my part in my brothers accident), I doubted he would be interested in granting me options for the upcoming punishment. At least death had been removed from the table, as my brothers head injury, while severe, had not been a terminal as I had first thought.

(Continued tomorrow).