Not Long Now.

There I was, sitting on the edge, my bunk edge, a precipice, overlooking the likely future demise of myself, perched in fear and panic. Knowing my father would soon return from work, and, once the other versions of the tale had been told he would.... erupt. Probably. Without necessarily confirming the actual first hand details, facts or even the personal reasons such an event had unfolded. Relying instead on the witnesses and hearsay to sway his judgement. And with my job today I know only too well how unreliable a eye-witness can be. Despite their intentions. Despite the belief in what they 'think' they saw. Most eye-witnesses are never accurate. The majority of witnesses did not see the whole incident, or even half the incident.

Consider  witnesses at a traffic crash. Who will say " I heard a crash and looked around and saw...." They are describing the event after the crash, the resulting motion and interaction of vehicles, pedestrians and the like. They are not eye witnesses, but simply 'reactive' witnesses. Certainly what they have seen, may contribute to solving what has occurred, but, no matter what they say, if they did not see the entire scene, before the incident, as the incident occurred and the actual crash and resulting mayhem, then they are not, and never can be, an eye witness. The know a version. Limited within a set of boundaries, clouded by hearing, sight, personal knowledge and personal stress. They can provide a fragment, but not a conclusive scenario.

My father was very good at doing just that, reacting with a  certain clouded judgement. Without truly hearing or considering my side of the story. My version, my reasons. He would say ' who do you think you are?' (this was of course rhetorical, silly me) and 'What was happening inside your head for you to go and do this' (whoops, rhetorical again, my mistake) Father would dispense his just opinion of what he thought, then dispense some form of a punishment. I'm not saying he wasn't fair. He just tended to react swiftly without thoughtful consideration. I think he put more thought into the method of punishment and it's delivery, than he did into the analysis of the actual incident. He would be homeward bound now. Carefully considering the sequence of events that led to the latest 'Dwyer' experience (of which there were many).

(Continued tomorrow)