Ringing out the dread.

So right then my father was assisting the then current telephone company to earn a little more (actually I think the government owned it then…. Oh yes, there was a time when governments owned pretty much all of the ‘essential’ services. That was why they were called ‘essential’. Everyone needed them), as I waited in the room to hear (and probably feel for some time to come) the outcome of his consideration, of my actions, leading to my brother’s serious injuries. Then the steps came back down the hall and I prepared myself for the worst. But yet again punishment was delayed as my father went back into the sitting room (or lounge, depending on that cultural heritage issue).

This was becoming very cruel. Let us be honest, mental anguish is an internationally recognised form of torture. Even the Americans used it… Even the Inquisition used it! (see blog 9^th May 2012). It was used very effectively in a favourite old movie I had watched and enjoyed, starring the young Michael Cain, The Ipcress File, a 1965 British espionage film based on Len Deighton's 1962 novel. In the film, all sorts of emotional and physical tortures, were being considered, and used, to brainwash and change the thinking of other people. I always remember the sense of being trapped in the room and tortured, as was the main character. And here I was, Life imitating Art? So the anxious feelings compounded and I stressed, awaiting my expected punishment, which would now be drawn out even more. Some one was enjoying this. Probably my other younger brother and at least two of my older sisters, I doubt the youngest sister or my youngest brother would be fully aware what was going on. I doubt my younger brother Rhys would be too happy either, though if lucky, he was unconscious again and wouldn’t be feeling too much. Certainly not as much as I would be feeling very, very shortly.

It is kind of strange when you are expecting a punishment, particularly a physical punishment. You don’t want it, and definitely don’t want it to hurt. But, you know it will and you also wish (if you have been physically punished before) that it was over, so you could just put up with the pain (not forgetting the crying and sometimes screaming that went with it). If it could just be put behind you (or on the behind, if you were getting just a simple punishment), and you could get on with the recovery. Not that there would be a lot of sympathy but the other children would always be curious as to what form the punishment took, and generally, want to see any marks that were not directly visible. Because quite often, even if simply getting a few whacks with the belt, the odd shot could sometimes drop a little down the leg and leave an impressionable welt that the others could see. And often wanted to poke at to see if it still hurt.

(Continued tomorrow)