Properly Said

It would not be the only time we were to hear our father mutter, or say with a strained tone, “If you want something done, you might as well do it yourself”. I often thought this was probably heard a lot around his place of work. Was it him saying it there, or could he have been parroting other superiors? It happens. I am sure you have all heard yourself saying things you possibly heard from your parents, or, other adults. It can be a frightening moment when without intending it, you are standing looking askance at the mess in your child’s room and without meaning to, you blurt (Blurt def:To speak unexpectedly and suddenly) out. “Clean your room up. It’s a pigsty”. Immediately hearing the echos from your parents or grandparents or family members etc. You know what I mean. You have parroted that which you have heard most often, in a situation where you do not need to be creative. Just filling the void with what has been said before. This can be a very frightening moment in any adults life. When you were young you probably promised yourself, or told whoever you have just copied, “I’ll never say that to my children”. Or, if you never intended to have any children. “You’ll never hear me say that to anyone”. Then before you know it, you’re spouting the phrases, dropping the terms and parroting others before you.
My mother had several phrases, most of which I have never had to use, but she used to come out with them. “This place is worse (messier) than the inside of a Chinese brothel”. I never asked her, till years later, how she new what the inside of a Chinese brothel even looked like. Then there was the time I came out of school (age about 6 and a Catholic school) saying, I never wanted to go to heaven. My mother apparently was surpised and when she asked why, I said, “Because it stinks.” My mother was perplexed. “What makes you think it stinks in heaven?”, she asked. ‘I replied (in tears apparently) “You always say our room stinks to high heaven”.  My mother, although raised predominantly by the black, cowled nuns of England, had many sayings, which I can’t imagine she picked up from them. She must have been parroting others, but who?
No doubt when you first start working with adults you pick up many of the clichés and common sayings in use. And I cannot imagine it was too different for my mother. Coming out from England at 16 years of age, on the slow boat, to arrive in New Zealand and starting work among the parochial colonials. Hearing the many derogatory and probably slightly racial sayings at such a young age. Being influenced by senior persons in work and training. And other senior persons in their leisure. No doubt pleadings from her chaperones and carers, requesting she not listen to such comments and terms, but how long before she started quoting the speakers. Parroting their speech (in her best English accent of course).
(Continued tomorrow)