Stuff of legends?

Such famous clashes as told in the story of King Arthur and the legends of the ancient cultures led to the attitude of the romantic period and the concept of duelling in defence of honour rather than deciding a battle, or trial by combat. As the types of  ancient warfare evolved, no doubt the single combat became increasingly less dominant, but it was the philosophy of the contest, which would lend inspiration to the ‘gentlemen’s duel’. A favourite film of mine is Ridley Scott's debut film, ‘The Duelists’(1977), based upon the Joseph Conrad short story ‘The Duel’. It tells the story of a duel between two Hussars over a 15 year period in early 1800’s around the time of the Napoleonic wars. Employing all the rules and honour behind such an event (and beautifully filmed). In this period, Politicians and supposed community leaders (including magistrates and even lords) were not averse to the action of duelling, for a ‘point of honour’, although banned by the various monarchs, presidents, and acts of government. The secretive (although often well known)‘pistols at dawn’ meetings (though originally the sword or sabre was preferred), the selection of seconds and the choice of weapons decided.

It was the choice of weapons idea that I probably would at least have liked to have had a say in, when confronted by my father, when about to receive a punishment for some slight or misdemeanour. I can picture it now. The array of various articles which could be used to strike, slap, whip, whack or wallop. Anything went, if the punishment was ‘on the go’ as it were. If it was to be administered within seconds, the hand was often first, ensuring a ‘first strike’ before I could move out of reach. Then if there was an opportunity, something more serious would be grabbed and used. It was probably important not to misbehave, if ever in the area of the shed. Too many sharp items in there, Or the kitchen come to that. But the serious implements for punishment, came out when sent to the room to await the ‘Return of your father’.

Over the years I received strikes from all sorts of items. From hands, belts, electric jug cords (never a favourite), wooden spoons, spatula, fish slice (lets just say several different ‘kitchen utensils’ and cover the whole gamut), walking sticks and rulers. Mind you the rulers were mainly the nuns. Did you know they seem to have been issued with special 15 inch (37cm) rulers (an extra 3 inches longer than normal, possibly for the extra grip when swinging), that were extra thick, sort of a, 15x3x0.4inches (37x7.5x1cm). I have also been hit with a hospital crutch (there always seemed to be one of those in the house, due to someone breaking something), a vacuum cleaner tube (the story of that one was sort of funny –later blog), dog leash (sans dog), a horse bridal (sans horse, fortunately). I had a plate whacked against my leg once, it broke, then I got extra punishment for the broken plate. Don’t think that I was always getting belted, or that I was exceptionally bad, it was just the way things were for some of us when we were young. (“And you try and tell the young people that nowadays…. And they won’t believe you”- the Four Yorkshiremen. Monty Python©1974)

(Continued tomorrow)