See the Marks

I stood on the lawn. More tears running down my face. Happy to have collected only a few of the actual landed blows. Many of the rest had glanced off my upheld arms and ducked head. My mother stood puffing. Glaring at me. “How could you?” she asked. There was the one bad answer I provided. “I didn’t have any money and I wanted it. It was only a dollar”. I cried. “I’ll give you.. only a dollar” She started, as she stepped towards me again. “You (swing) do (slap) not (swipe) steal (whack!).” This was followed by two more swipes and both of those connected as well. “Get to your room.” She said. Then it was over. “Just wait till your father gets home.” The phrase was uttered. There was no going back.

Now, recently we went through a long retelling of awaiting a punishment (form type two – Physical) from my father (see blog April 14^th 2012 till ….recently) after an accident with my stilt and my brothers head. That occurred later than this current story, but for those of you who have followed this blog of rambling threads, I am currently exploring the three incidents of intentional stealing I did as a child and the methods used to punish/teach me the lesson that stealing was bad. We have in the days leading up to this (see blog from October 11^th 2012), looked at psychological punishment and the effect of fear driven punishment and threats. Nothing as extreme as the Spanish inquisition, but we have seen how while it can be immediate, psychological pressure has long term effects as well, that direct thinking and behaviour (a nation of billion people can’t all be brainwashed can they?) in an individual long after an actual event has occurred.

I already knew that stealing was morally wrong, but I had done it. Why? I had thought there would be no consequences…. Until I was caught. Then I was all too aware (thanks to the two ‘showies’ and the policeman) of consequences. This was where the psychological punishment (form one) started and then, the ongoing thinking about consequences continued. It was not as simple as straightforward physical punishment (which I call punishment form two) such as a smack. That form of punishment can result in a physical and visible mark being left on the receiver. Perhaps simply a red skin, a welt, a bruise, or, depending on the item used to smack, a cut or even a break.  It happens. Physical punishment can create physical harm and evidence of such. The reason I suggest that physical punishment is form two, is because it also carries with it a certain amount of its own form one, psychological punishment. There is also a psychological side, but it is not as long term in this instance, except to say, it may result in rapid ‘learned behaviour’ of the defensive or reactive type by the child. The child’s own thinking may, when under threat, create a mental preparation which manifests itself physically.

(Continued tomorrow)