Feeling Sarcastic?

I asked plaintively. I peered towards her. One eyed and forlorn. She looked down at me. Her eyes focused on my face. Then she leaned in and the door of social acceptance slammed loudly shut. Hard! As my mother said, "Don't  be ridiculous, you have a few cuts and scrapes. Don't be so melodramatic. Scars indeed!". She laughed with the nurse. Loudly. That hurt. That hurt a lot. Fortunately it was then the doctor decided to turn up and show his mettle and bedside manner. All professional and business like. He did that classic 'television' recognised gesture, of picking up the clipboard and peering at the small section of the filled in form. Let's face it, I was a youngish child and was lying in a hospital bed. I was still partially covered in blood around my head. My eye(s) were practically sealed shut. My mother standing at the side of my bed, and he says, quite vociferously, "So. What do we have here?"

Oh, I don't know Doc. What about a Galapagos Marine Iguana with a skin problem? Or perhaps a Lamborghini 'Gull-wing' incorrectly parked in the hospital bed. But since you are the doctor (with the required stethoscope slung expertly over your shoulder) I would think you could recognise, or at the very least, identify an injured child. 

I am sure I didn't actually think of any of those responses at the time, but what is the point of even saying that? There was a skit in the Monty Python which I recall, where one man's speciality is "Stating the bleeding obvious" and there are many, many people like that. Standing outside on a a fine hot and sunny day and, someone, for the sake of social interaction says, "Hot today, isn't it?" This was the sort of comment that such a person makes. I have often felt the desire when such a pointless phrase is uttered, to (and I know this would be sarcastic, so I don't,....... always), respond with that challenging question.... "Compared to what?" This would immediately create a thought pause. Where the person who stated the original comment would be momentarily forced to explain their obvious statement, and there would be a slight problem.  There would be the usual grasping at air as their mouth moved to say what the brain had not even considered as either information or purposeful comment. In those circumstances the brain was probably not even considering what it had said, but had moved onto thinking about something else equally irrelevant in the conversation field. Then the person realises that I am the sort of person who is prepared to debate meteorological issues (with supporting historical and relevant data), and as they prepare a response, they can nervously observe my anticipation of any following comments. The art of conversation is not dead. It has simply fallen ill with a malaise at the insistence of banal and irrelevant comments placed randomly into social situations by unthinking people. It lies in bed, suffering the effects of the abuse of considered thought by the socially inept. My social ineptitude however, stems from a very different purpose of thought..