Shape in the Light

I lay there with my eyes shut. Pretending to sleep as the footsteps approached. They came walking heavily down the hall, as I heard my mother say, a little loudly (stage whisper, loud enough to carry, but not with the full voice sound) “Leave him till tomorrow. He’ll be asleep” The steps came closer, ignoring the directive. Then a slightly louder stage whisper, “You’ll only wake the others”. The steps were just outside the door now and I heard my mother start down the hall after my father. “Honestly,” I heard her start. I lay there.  My eyes were closed pretending to sleep. I heard the door open and felt and heard the movement of the door opening. Due to the position of the bunks along the side wall of the long room, my head was effectively behind the door when it opened into our room. So, anyone wanting to look at me lying in the bed had to enter the room fully. Unfortunately my father did. Through my closed eyelids I saw the brightness of the toilet light suddenly increase into our room and I sensed his shape standing there holding the door open. I heard my mother bustle to a stop behind him. ‘Just leave it!” I recall her snarling ‘sotto vocce’.

I know I was trembling (inside, shaking a lot) and lets be honest. Nobody pretending to be asleep, can ever do it convincingly, as your eyelids tend to move as your eyes still react to light etc. And no doubt as frightened as I was of the impending punishment I was not breathing in a steady relaxed manner as would one who slept.  “He’s not sleeping” my father said. “Are you?” I no doubt did the ‘fake’ waking up routine “Hmmm?” as I pretended to stir. “See?” My mother said and I heard her start to go, no doubt reaching for the door handle. But my father would not be budged. “You’re not asleep, so you can get up out of that bed and come out here.” I opened one eye, squinting, and then the other. I looked up to the somewhat fearsome face of my father. ‘Up you get and come out.” He told me. I heard my mother, somewhat exasperated turn away, muttering to her self, as it was obvious my father was not listening to her, “Why you can’t just leave it till tomorrow, I don’t know.” She said as she walked away.

I reluctantly opened my eyes and got up out of the bed. Sitting up from the lower bunk I reached for the pair of slippers and stopped. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to reach for anything that might suggest to my father they would be good to smack me with. However, he beat me to it. “Leave those. You won’t need them.” I stopped and looked at him. ‘Out here now.” He gestured out of the room. At least being hit with the slippers was already off the options list.

(Continued tomorrow)