Try Recognition

“And yes, they won on Saturday, you were correct about that.” Stephen started to look sideways at me with a smile. “But,” Mr Walsh continued “Mr Pritchard, that ball is not from the game on Saturday. Otherwise there were two players, whose names I recognised heading into their late forties, playing for the All Blacks and I don’t believe that is the case.” Stephen looked at Mr Walsh. “But my dad said... “ Mr Walsh simply looked at Stephen. “I am sure your father wanted you to be excited and show a very special memento. But, as Mr Dwyer observed. This ball ‘is’ signed by the team that won at Lancaster Park in 1963. Not 1971.”

Really? I hadn’t realised that. I had only wondered what that meant. I didn’t know where Lancaster Park was. Or did I? Was that why I had asked the question in the first place? A sort of intuitive sense? But for what purpose. Once again was I trying to appear to be more clever than some other children. Why? I had just done a performance of a poem to the class, acted it out, was entertaining and had got a great response (or so most of the class had thought, apart from Stephen here). So why had I unconsciously pursued the error in his presentation? Ego? I don’t know.

Mr Walsh continued. “ But, that does not matter Stephen.” (note the change from getting our attention to speaking to us personally) “What does matter is it is a very special rugby ball signed by an All Black team after they had won against the English in an international competition” Stephen literally ‘swelled’ with pride, that having such a item had been recognised by the teacher. Perhaps that was what each of us were trying to achieve. That special attention of the people we respected. As children, most often it was our teachers, first. In many cases children formed ‘bonds’, or groups, associates, they wanted to impress, so as to have ‘friends’. Having friends. In our society it seems that, is a very ‘valued’ commodity. And while it is not always possible to make friends, it seems people expect you to have them. And to be seen with them. There’s the important part. You have to be ‘seen’ to have friends. Or you can be excluded. This can put amazing pressure on children, and there are consequences for those who appear to fail at this (I know). But that can be how shallow we are as a society. True friendship is far different to what society expects. I often refer to having ‘aquaintances’, people I simply know, through work, daily life. Anyone from the butcher, to the office co-worker. They know little about me, apart from that which I wish to show or share (many probably would agree they know more than they wish too).  Consequently I have few friends. Those I truly value, and whose lives I am truly interested in and wish total happiness for (an even rarer commodity)

(Continued tomorrow)