Try to Adapt

You’re probably thinking at this point in time that I was so excited I messed it up? Struggled with the opening lines? Too shy, when suddenly faced with the sceptical faces of the fellow students (of whom I was certainly never the most popular, so what would one more disaster do for that reputation)? I was about to open my mouth, to speak the words I had learnt. I knew the poem. I knew I had learnt it. I had practiced it, repeatedly in the short time since I had copied it from the book. I wanted to let it flow from my mouth successfully. I looked about the room at the children before me. Then I actually saw their faces. They were not looking towards me with happy expectant emotions on those faces. They were definitely not particularly encouraging. They were going to make this difficult. They definitely were not wanting to hear a poem recited. Again. Particularly one they had heard the day before. I stopped for a moment, and looked a little nervously at Mr Walsh. He nodded me to go on.

Go on with the poem? Seriously. With the response I was expecting, judging by the faces I was looking at, I was really starting to reconsider. I had spent all that time learning the poem. Well, okay. Not that much time. In fact, I had got it down in one evening, and part of a morning admittedly. As quickly as possible I suppose would be more accurate. And it wasn’t just a few lines. It was sixty lines. But, that was all I had done in that short time. Concentrated on learning the poem, so I would not make any mistakes. So when I stood up before the fellow students I would appear to be…… pretty bloody clever. Cleverer than those who sat there at their desks and looked back at me completely un-enthused. They did not seem very keen at all. In fact one or two were even finding things on the ceiling more interesting. I realised I was there for the wrong reason. I had gone to the trouble of learning the poem simply to show them how clever I could be. I also realised I was not going to be any more favourably considered by the students, than I had been before. No doubt some would think less of me. All this came to me as I was opening my mouth to speak.

I had chosen to put myself here. Most people have issues when suddenly chosen to speak publicly. Confronted with a group of people they need to speak to.  Particularly, young children.  Yet teachers do it regularly. Not build the children up slowly, with small presentations to small groups. But straight away, in front of a class of twenty or thirty. Bring them up and throw them to the lions, regardless of their personal fears. Suddenly I felt this feeling. My confidence had now in that moment of opening my mouth, shifted a little.

(Continued tomorrow)