About The Answer

Just staying with the response from a young child which was mentioned yesterday. Perhaps the biggest problem in communicating with children is time. We find it difficult to find the time to let the child response at their own pace. This happens very early on in childhood. The parent can be busy with their day’s schedule, and trust me, the only way you can get through the day with a child requires at least a mental schedule. Even if within the first couple of minutes its thrown totally ‘out of whack’ by the child discovering the shampoo (that’s the entire bottle) tipped into the bath creates an enormous amount of suds. Or that the dog likes the meat (that’s the entire family’s dinner) from the fridge as well as anything else dropped on the floor. How some parents get themselves dressed in the morning while managing a two, three or four year old at the same time is pretty clever. The fact that there were four of us under seven in our family (part one), means that our mother relied on the older children to assist the younger ones to get ready. We never went out in dirty clothes, without shoes or without faces washed. So why has it become so hard today for parents to have a child washed and cleaned when they step out. Social standards have definitely fallen, as has personal pride in how you present yourself or family. But a child can definitely throw a preparation schedule out in seconds.

However, it is time that appears to be the biggest problem when a child is communicating, or at least trying to. It is not always possible to wait patiently for the response from a child. They do not understand the need to give a rapid response, just because the listener is trying to get something done (something that is probably essential to maintaining their life or such). They are struggling with a certain amount of information overload themselves. Sifting through their developing communication skills, sorting out the related visual interpretations, with the aural information they received. Identifying their emotional responses and the physical experiences. Trying to evaluate all of the inputs to create an output. And that just relates to the question asked….. “Did you finish your cereal?”

But, if we could make the time to actually allow the child to generate the response they wish to make, and really listen to what they say. Really listen to their response, wouldn’t they develop as more accurate and confident speakers generally?  It is interesting to hear a child, when asked to describe something they cannot see, just what they select as necessary information. The idea of asking a child to describe their favourite toy may produce the following response, along the lines of “Its nice, it’s fluffy on top with…squishy arms and yellow. And it’s really, really yellow and happy” So, you have the description. What is it? The only relevant direct information provided to the adult listener is that it is yellow, and has arms. There is an additional piece of information in that it is fluffy on top and the arms are squishy. So, what is the child’s favourite toy?

(Continued tomorrow)