About Gossip

Strangely, considering what I had received punishment for previously. The incident with Mr Walsh was a genuine reason I probably should have been physically punished. Yet, due to Mr Walsh’s generosity and understanding, and perhaps because there was now no ‘victims’ of my crime, just a debt I owed to Mr Walsh who had used his own money to pay back those I had stolen from. A debt I would have to try and repay, at some point. Even though the amount was small, it still left the very kind Mr Walsh out of pocket. One of the problems for me in trying to repay Mr Walsh, was that my actual earning ability was severely limited. As mentioned we occasionally were able to earn a little money with doing various tasks, newspaper delivery or the holiday pet feeding job, that was about all that was open to me at this age. So repaying the money to Mr Walsh was going to take a while. Even for the small amount of ‘E’ & ‘K’s money I had taken. Mr Walsh had not appeared too concerned. When I said I would get him the money. He could see what he had spoken to me about was important. Perhaps too, it was important to him. Validating what he saw in me, and what he trusted as his ability to teach. He did teach me. I learnt more from that moment in my past, than I did from many other teachers since.

I still left school that day, tentatively concerned that my parents would find out what had happened. I was fairly sure Mr Walsh was not going to inform my parents as he had told me. He had said so and I trusted what he had said to me. Trust, just another aspect of respect. That however, may not prevent my mother learning about the matter from another parent, whose child had may have heard something, which may or may not have been true. That was often the way trouble started. Particularly, the school situation. A child hears something at school, thinks they have understood the incident, and when their mother (tended to be the mother back then) asks how their day was…? They say something innocently, which is then re-interpreted by the adult social conscience (putting their own spin on it) who, rightly or wrongly, then starts off passing the story along to another parent. Before long the ‘grapevine’ (or at least the telephone line) is screaming with multiple versions (usually profoundly inaccurate) of the incident. These versions multiply exponentially (as each person relays their interpretation) and at times, become so excessively incorrect, that parents begin withdrawing children from schools and alerting the media, before the error of the original report (by the innocent child) is discovered. And who’s fault is that? Certainly not the child's. The parent who started the ‘wildfire’ retelling of the incident without the facts? Definitely. Patience is a virtue (my mother used to say), but patience is dreadfully absent when these incidents occur. People don’t necessarily wait to find out the actual facts, before rushing into a response. Perhaps they should, and alternatively, if it isn’t their business, then discuss it directly with those involved to understand what has really occurred and if there is any reason to worry.

(Continued tomorrow)