About Division

So heading home, I still harboured the thought that perhaps I would still receive some form of punishment from my parents, once they heard what had happened at school. If it wasn’t another child advising their parents, there was always the internal informants, your brothers and sisters who were often at the same school. Something many children have to live with. Brothers and sisters. Having a single brother or sister can, I am sure be interesting, particularly for those children who have grown up in more remote areas. Often a special bond will form when you have to rely on just each other. But having three brothers, and four sisters, makes it a lot more challenging. The multiple variations of alliances for a start. International diplomacy could probably benefit from watching (and learning) about the dynamics of large families. Mind you, at the same time, large families are sometimes not the best way to observe diplomacy.

One of the problems with a large family can be the number of willing voices ready to ‘save their own skin’ when something has happened, and ‘someone’ has done something wrong. The defiant cry which was often heard ringing out in our house (and sometimes the neighbourhood) was ‘I’ll tell Mum/Dad”. Admittedly it tended to be Mum (not many of us were brave enough to tell Dad as we were never sure exactly what the response would be). With our mother there was often a brief period where negotiation was still sometimes possible. At least a chance to have your side of the story heard. But the cry heard through the hallways, and even sometimes through a closed door, was perhaps a common one, as one brother or sister (or more) vocally objected to what had occurred. This could be anything from, losing in a board game, to being injured when some game/stunt/practice went wrong. It was probably most common, when, left to look after ourselves, it came to dividing equal shares of foodstuffs. Trying to get an extra biscuit or a larger slice of something. That could often produce a very, very vocal objection from the siblings.

Some years later I heard the solution to this. You cut the remaining piece of cake (or slice) in half unevenly (deliberately), then you immediately pick up the larger slice. This will of course produce howls of anguished protest “Hang on. That’s not fair” You pause with the larger slice in your hand and ask innocently ‘What’s not fair?” The complainer will then point to the larger slice and say, “You took the biggest piece!” You then pause as if perplexed. Look frankly at the complainer and ask the simple question. “Well, using your manners, which must be what you are complaining about, what piece would you have taken, if you had gone first?” The complainer is immediately trapped (often unwittingly) “I would have taken the smaller piece” is the only response they can make. To which you simply reply. “Well, that’s good then, because you can still have the smallest piece. So there’s no problem” As you quickly walk away consuming the larger slice. Ah, the benefit of knowledge… if only I had known that earlier.

(Continued tomorrow)