See Me, But Don't Speak

I know this must sound strange, but don’t ever assume a physical disability means there are mental health issues. I deliberately used the term ‘normal’ in yesterday’s blog as slang, for not having a visual disability. For a good reason. More people probably suffer some form of disability, which you cannot see. When helping up my teen aged charge who suffered badly from the condition, Cerebral Palsy, and who had fallen (yet again). While getting him to his feet as he continued to laugh, he looked me in the eye and slurred out (as was his ability when speaking), ‘You should have seen your face, I’m getting too heavy and you went beet-root (Referring, to the strong colour of a purple staining taproot vegetable popular in Australian hamburger dressing and salads). He then continued with, “I think I’ll fall down, to watch that happen again”. Then it was my turn to laugh. “I replied, “you fall down again and I’ll leave you lying there, laughing”. It was that comment from me, overheard by a passing mother of a ‘normal’ child, which started another complaint about my treatment. Trust me. There was no complaint from the victim. He was more devastated that his actions had led to me being in trouble. The best line from him was said next. ‘I feel sorry for those people. They don’t understand”. Many years later I see he is still right.

However we are back to my sister having entered the room and stood there as I blinked in the light she had just turned on. “Why didn’t you turn on the light?” She asked. “I didn’t think Dad would let me.” I answered. She just took a deep breath and told me to “Come out for dinner?” I stared. I didn’t think I had heard her correctly. Come out for dinner? Surely not? What if my father came home and saw me sitting there eating? My sister must have understood. “They said to give you dinner, but we’re not to talk to you.” Ah, that made sense. In our house, if you were in trouble, one clear instruction from our parents regarding the suspected offender (or guilty offender), was for us “Not to talk to them.” The solitary punishment form often favoured by our mothers ‘English Heritage’. You can see why the English decided to send their convicts away from the privileges of society. To the far side of the world, to feel the loneliness and isolation, the separation experienced by isolation. Being ‘sent to Coventry’ was her other term.

I was often curious about that term. Did it mean what she suggested. When I eventually looked it up later I saw it originated (allegedly) in the 17^th Century in England. A group of Royalist soldiers were sent to the town of Coventry, to be confined in 1648. The other residents at the time were parliamentary supporters, so the soldiers when shunned and the locals refused to consort with them. So that certainly made sense.

(Continued tomorrow)