Seeing the red.

I am not suggesting the first word you heard your child mimic was ‘Stop’. I am suggesting the first word the child learns the meaning of is “No” and the second is “Stop” (or possibly ‘don’t’ comes in a very close runner up). Our mother possessed that very precise skills found in many parents with multiple siblings, the ‘Don’t’ with ‘the look’! The single finger may also have been extended towards you (always a bad sign). But it was the tone, and the look, which even the youngest child understood very quickly. It was also around the time this combined skill was introduced to the growing child, that the child decides to ‘test the boundaries’ of the new word.

If reaching towards a freshly made biscuit on the kitchen table drew a standard ‘don’t’, from the mother, and if the ‘don’t’ command continued to be ignored, the tester was often quickly encountering some form of disciplinary pain (back of the hand being struck by hand, wooden spoon or other handy implement) then the child understood the limit of the boundaries. Then what about heading towards the socket of a power point with a knitting needle? This was sufficient to suddenly create not only a very loud, often higher decibel (and sometimes higher pitch) version of ‘DOOON’T’ which could actually result in being; swept off your feet, struck off your feet, or, if the child had been up to date with his testing. Total freezing of all motor functions.

We learnt many lessons as children with ‘No’, ‘Stop’ and ‘Don’t’ And, we also learnt many consequences (particularly, if ignoring the commands of; ‘No’, ‘Stop’ and ‘Don’t’) Not that they would be ignored for long. There was always the ultimate attention getter and clarifying explanation of exactly where those boundaries were, if one wanted to ‘push the edge of the envelope’. And usually, these boundaries were defined (selectively), by our father, if we tested them too far, or too often.

In the case of the stilt and kite incident, it wasn’t so much a testing of the boundary that had led us to this point of required clarification. But clearly, some invisible line had been crossed and my father would shortly be explaining exactly what that line was and where it existed, and no doubt I would be asked, why I had not been aware of the line before today? Or would he? The taxi driver had knocked on the door and I could hear my parents leaving the lounge and my mother going towards the front door. I heard my father giving some instructions to one of my older sisters, and my mother trying to provide some information about dinner options. Then with a slight banging, the front door was closed and they walked down the short flight of steps. The squeaking of the low metal gate signaled they had departed the property. A moment later, I heard the taxi drive off with my parents inside, and my punishment still on hold.

(Continued tomorrow)