Seeing green

My mother tried for a moment to ignore the question, but she was obviously bursting to tell. “I had a problem at the start,” she began. “I couldn’t ‘see’ anything (‘seeing’ was how see referred to her ‘psychic impressions’). She continued to explain. “But all I could see was the colour green, a whole bunch of shamrocks. Then, I finally had to say to him it wasn’t going to work. When he asked me why not, I said, I can’t see anything but shamrocks. That’s when he said his name was “Ireland” she said and they had burst out laughing. I’m never saying such skills are not real, but I can’t say they are either. My mother however, drew a lot of enjoyment (and at times exhaustion, from such incidents).

So what were the minor déjà vu experiences I have felt, may be they were linked to same ‘genetic’ background. But there were many occasions I wish our mother had been able to predict the likely outcomes of many events. And I am not referring to the phrases parents throw out when they observe their child engaged in some mildly dangerous activity. You must have seen and heard them. For example, a child starts climbing up the outside of a stair, by holding on to the rail and the moment this is observed by the parent, the parent loudly calls out. “Do not do that! You will fall”. Let’s just think about that for a moment. Does the parent mean, if the child does not climb up the outside of the rail, they will fall? Or are they predicting that once the child has climbed up the outside of the rail, they will fall. This is confusing. And it’s not an actual prediction. Or is it? Are they actually wanting the child to fall, and to thereby learn a tough lesson (not that falling can be dangerous, but that parents are always right?), or are they simply calling out to distract you and so they will see you fall, and be correct in their shouted prediction.

No. That is ridiculous of course. For if the parent was actually concerned, wouldn’t they get closer to the child and assure them in their actions? Ensuring that the child placed their ‘three points of contact’ appropriately, and would not therefore be at any risk in conducting such activities (particularly unguided in the future)? This would be far more confidence inspiring for the child, rather than shouting at the child to fail, and, causing higher stress levels, developing poor decision making skills, and creating a fear of any such future behaviour (guided or unguided). These little parenting steps often develop a child a particular way, but when parents simply call out to stop! They use the one word that the child may in fact obey. They stop. They may stop. In all things that may involve the slightest risk. “Stop!” is usually the second word they learn…. The first word I believe, was never ‘mummy” but “No!”

(continued tomorrow)