See Me Run... (or not)

I waited in the room with the sound of the taxi driving off outside. This must be really serious. My father had not even come into the room before leaving. I waited and slowly the sounds of dinner being prepared in the kitchen by my older sisters could be heard. Then came the smell of dinner cooking. Should I go out and help? Perhaps in all the confusion, my mother had forgotten to tell my father I was even sitting in the room. That must be it! I had been sent here to await the return of my father from work by my mother, and with all that was happening, she had simply forgotten I was there. As I mentioned, her predicting what may happen to people outside the family was often uncanny, but when the family was involved, she was seldom right, and in this case… was simply ignored.

I started to reach for the door, with this thought in mind. Then stopped. Perhaps they hadn’t forgotten and they were just testing to see if I tried to overstep the boundary. I paused. That must be it, not forgotten, just being toyed with. The old, ‘Cat and Mouse’ game. The cat, letting the mouse just get far enough, to think it was safe, before reaching out and grabbing it back. To be played with (and tortured again). In fact how could I be sure my father had actually left the house? I was assuming it. I had heard the taxi arrive, the front door was knocked upon by the taxi driver. I had heard the lounge door open, and people moving down the hall, before the front door was shut and a moment later the taxi drove off.  Perhaps it was all a ploy. Perhaps my father had in fact simply waited inside the hall, after shutting the front door. Waiting for me to foolishly step out of the room I had been sent to. Playing with me. Playing with my mind (even though it was definitely bigger and smarter than a rodents) Trying to make me think I had been forgotten, or mistakenly believe he was gone. So I could then be grabbed back (and hopefully not tortured).

But surely my sisters wouldn’t be cooking so calmly in the kitchen. I would be able to ‘sense’ the fear of expectation (and sensing that, didn’t require any psychic ability). It would be palpable. I didn’t get that feeling of tension. No, my father had definitely left. And it was likely that this would be part of the punishment. To drag out the tension and fear I was experiencing. Mind you, the situation may change dramatically if my brother was in any further danger. And do not doubt, I felt horribly responsible. But, it was an accident. A series of unexpected events, that unfortunately resulted in an injury. We had a lot of accidents in our family. I both experienced them personally and unfortunately, was responsible for some, particularly if you believe that a persons actions can contribute to consequences regardless of intent.

 (Continued tomorrow)